Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
