still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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