My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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