bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
