Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
