I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
