I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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