I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
