Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
