i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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