i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
