this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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