I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
