is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She told me I should be a condom model.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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