i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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