Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
