Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
