I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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