sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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