so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
