guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
