AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
