You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
