You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
