you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
