ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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