Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
