Please, let me fuck your mom
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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