The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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