Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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