how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize