i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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