Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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