one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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