i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
