ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just gargled with NyQuil
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
