the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
