If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
