I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
