STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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