I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
