Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
