margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
