69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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