She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize