Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
