u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
