We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
