So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
