At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
