I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
