I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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