There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
