Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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