So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
