i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
