dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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