Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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