FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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