Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
