you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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